The Top 10 Things I Learned in My first 30 Years of Life: #10 - 6
I am currently stranded at an airport in Pittsburgh, PA.
I am 100% alone. No one knows me, and I am emotionally on an island—a man and his thoughts. It’s going to be a long night, so I figure I’ll try to use my time well.
Wow is just about all I can think to say. There is just no possible way that I am going to be 31 years old in March. This whole “time flies” thing is really getting serious. I remember, like yesterday, I was in 5th grade at Little League practice. I can remember our uniforms and what position I played. I can remember when Yomega Yoyos became cool, and we would show each other tricks before, during, and after Sunday school class. I can remember my first day of school in 8th grade, what I was wearing, and what I told my dad as soon as I got in the car, “Dad! You have to get me out of here!”
The memories flood my mind as I sit here typing through high school, college, and even these seven years after. It has truly flown by. As I stop to think about my past, I also think about the mistakes I’ve made along the way. I think about victories and accomplishments. I think about how God has guided me along throughout the journey. Turning 31 is definitely a milestone, and if the Lord wills, I want to live the next thirty years of life applying the lessons I’ve learned in my first 30. So, if you’ll humor me, here are The Top 10 Lessons I Learned in My First 30 Years of Life.
10. Go Down Swinging
The Special Olympics have a quote that they use as a guide for their athletes. The quote is this, “Let me win, but if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt." When I was 19 years old, I lived my life bare minimum. That means that I would barely do enough to get by and “make it.” If I had 10 chapel skips, I would manage my time in such a way that I would miss all 10. If I had homework due, I would wait until the last minute to find a way to get a passing grade and move on. I was passive. I didn’t serve others, and I was selfish, always looking for what was best for me. But something happened when I read the book Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper for one of my classes. It hit me hard, yo, that if I continued to live with the same spirit and attitude, there would be no one at my funeral.
I wouldn’t have impacted anyone because I was all about myself. When truth enters our minds and resonates in our hearts, we now have a choice to make: give up or go down swinging. Meaning, we fight. We have a passion for serving others and a fighting spirit. Those with a fighting spirit would rather die than give up. If I could grab an 18-year-old Jake Walton, I would look him in the eyes and say, “Kid, you got more in you than that, and you know it.” No one, and I mean no one, leaves a legacy for those behind by accident. Too many people give up way too easily. They give up on their dreams, their passions, their friends, their relationships, you name it. The first lesson I have learned is this: fight with all of your heart, and in the end, if you are to fail, you fail with courage. That in and of itself is the greater reward.
9. Call Them Back
In 2012, I was finished with college, an intern at Lake Ann Camp, and trying to figure out what was next for me in life. As I was praying, asking questions, and thinking, a church in Florida kept popping up. I was drawn to it for some reason. So, I called them up cold turkey. I introduced myself and asked one of the pastors on the other line about the possibility of doing an internship with their youth. The first thing he asked me was if I was married. I replied, “No.” To which he responded, “Sorry, we are not interested.” Three weeks had passed, and the desire was still strong in my heart. After a lot of prayer, I decided to call them back. I asked for that same pastor; I shared my heart with him. Two days later, I was on a plane flying down to Florida for my internship. I had the great privilege of meeting some incredible people that I will never forget. From my heart, I love them dearly.
If you want something, you find a way; if you don’t, you find an excuse. I totally believe that the people in life who say, “I was gonna,” never did. Persistency. Initiative. Boldness. At the end of my life, I don’t want any regret to be that I was too afraid to try. I think too many people keep making the same old excuses. Here is the underlying question: what would I be willing to give to go after the very thing I believe God is calling me to? When you want something, you find a way; when you don’t, you find an excuse. Call them back!
8. She is your sister
As honest and as blatant as I can say, there have been multiple times in my life where I acted like a little boy in my pursuit of young ladies. All of my hope would be placed in whether the person I was pursuing would like me back or not. If the attraction was not mutual, I reacted in immature, selfish ways. Think about it: somebody wants something, they go after it, don’t get it, and throw a tantrum. Simply put, that is called childlike behavior.
I thank God for His grace; because of it, I no longer am a slave to the sins of my past and no longer need to be ashamed. However, looking back I made a grave mistake. If you look at the Bible, there are two types of male and female relationships. The first is husband and wife, and the second is brother and sister. A young lady may not be your bride, but if you are both followers of Christ, she will always be your sister. The girls that I failed to lead, failed to love or failed to show kindness to because I didn’t get what I wanted, I failed to know and understand an important aspect. She is my sister and the daughter of a King and not just any king but King Jesus. That should strike the fear of God into a young man’s soul.
What I am not saying is don’t pursue; in fact, if you like a girl, you should pursue her boldly and clearly without playing with her heart. But whether she says yes or no, whether you end up with her in marriage or not, if she is your sister in Christ, then leave her as a better person and closer to God for whoever she will end up with. I have failed many times, but by the grace of God, I am getting better. Hopefully, I can say that every year for the rest of my life. She might not be your bride, but she will always be your sister.
7. Invest the Gift
Our culture tells us that we can do anything that we set our minds to. My personal conviction is that no, you cannot, and I believe that is something that needs to be heard and communicated to this younger generation. You cannot be anything that you want to be, but starting today, you can be a whole lot more of who you already are. I believe we will give an account for how well we used the gifts God gave us, so it would be good for us to figure out just what those gifts might be. We have personalities, spiritual gifts, passions, interests, and things that get us so excited!
It requires honesty. I can tell you right now that I will NEVER play basketball in the NBA. I can want to until the cows come home but that is not how I was gifted on multiple levels. It takes honesty with yourself and sometimes from others to objectively find out what those gifts are. Maybe you’ll be a rock star and have more fame and money than you’ll know what to do with it. Or maybe you’ll be an awesome small-town landscaper who is faithful to his church and loving towards his family. One is not more important than the other. Each is special and unique in its own way. And for the record, a lot of rich and famous people don’t seem to have their lives together so there is a good chance that that’s not the answer to all your problems. God gave us gifts, learn them, and then invest them!
6. Leaders Are Readers
Something over time began to hit me as I invested hours watching football and SportsCenter week after week…I was wasting my time. Now listen, I am not some critic of people who enjoy those things. I just realized that when my team won, they never sent me a check thanking me for caring about them or winning that victory with them. They never sent me an encouraging note or text telling me to “hang in there” on days I would let their losses literally ruin my evening. I was investing so much time in something that didn’t matter in the long run of my life’s development.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the people who used their lives well, who made a difference in the world for the things that do matter, wrote books. They shared their thoughts, ideas, opinions, and stories with the world. So, I started with things I actually cared about. Leadership. Coaching. Theology. Relationships. As I plowed through these books I noticed and still notice that I began to change for the better.
I can carry on a conversation with smart people for a lot longer than I used to be able to because I know more about their area of expertise. Instead of just playing follow the leader in every situation, I’ve learned that I can indeed be the leader, cast my own vision, and lead others forward. My memory is sharper; it retains so many important things. Someone’s name, their story, when you start to remember these things in someone’s life, they begin to trust you, and that gives you an incredible opportunity to inspire and help them a long life’s journey.
Now, I cannot live without my books. They are my treasures, my very best friends in life. They give me guidance and advice in moments of trial and confusion. I have become a better man, a sharper knife to impact people. Those who say that reading is boring are really just boring themselves. I challenge you to read. Start with a book that interests you, that could get you excited, and devote one-half hour a day. Over time, you wait and see how it will change you. Leaders are readers.
